Bloomington, Illinois
The Downtowner
I came in from Kroger’s the other day and there were two
things in the Community Room:
One of them was a feller named Tom, which is short for Tom
the Guy Who Got Run Over By a Truck 11 Years Ago. The other was a bag of
bagels. I went to take one bagel from the bag because I didn’t want to take
them all, and it is share and share alike. Tom says, “You should take the bag.”
I says “How come? I only want one or two.” He says “Those women won’t take the
bag if someone else has opened it.” I says, “Well, I don’t want the whole bag.”
He says “You better take the whole bag.” I says “Well, maybe I will take two,
but I see that the other bagels don’t match the one I just took.” There is a
pause – perhaps a pregnant one.
Then I says, “Well, my bagels need to match,” and I go
through the whole bag, examining each bagel until I find another one that almost
matches the pattern and size of the seeds on top of my first choice. Then I
take it and put the rest of the bagels back in the bag. For a finishing touch I
put one in upside-down. “There,” I says, that will give them something to cluck
about!”
Later, I think, “Man, old Tom sure is scared a them women!
Sheesh! He is like an old woman himself!"
At Mensa Manor, life goes on. Long after the thrill of living
has gone:
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